Get Fucked Off (Politely)

🔴 The Button

Press it. We dare you. It will tell you exactly what it thinks of you.

🌡️ The Rage-o-Meter

How furious are you right now? Be honest. Nobody's looking. (Gary is looking.)

🙂

Mildly miffedWriting a strongly worded letter

⏳ Fuck-Off-Inator 3000

Our patented machine will now process your fucking off. Please keep arms and legs inside the website.

🤗
Fucking off failed.
You've been hugged instead. Sorry. It's out of our hands now.

📮 Complaints Department

All complaints are personally handled by Reginald, our Head of Complaints. Reginald is a bull terrier. He has a monocle. He has eaten a sock today and he would do it again.

Nature of grievance Your complaint, in full

📜 House Rules

Fuck off, but drink some water first.
Fuck right off, then text us when you get home safe.
Swearing is permitted. Being a knob to actual people is not.
Take a biscuit on your way out. No, take two. You've earned it, you absolute legend.